Mormon Church & Prop. 8

From Wall Street to Salt Lake City it's amazing as to what is coming to light and the controversy that is being played out for the world to see. What is happening in politics and religion is educational to say the least. We're certainly witnessing the corruption that has always existed and the abuse of power by our leaders. We are also seeing how that behavior is having a major impact on our personal lives. It seems that our right to live in peace and in harmony has been severely threatened.

It is not my intent to bash religion (when it comes to politics I don't have a problem with it) but I've been more careful about the things I say concerning a person's faith until Prop. 8. While this may appear to be off subject, bear with me and I'll try to explain because I think it is important and has everything to do with it.

My ancestors were polygamist in the Mormon Church. My great grandfather and my grandfather both had multiple wives, and I've read almost everything I could get my hands on just to understand why. The point I want to make is that what took place in the early history of the church is as controversial as "same sex marriage." But that didn't stop Mormons from practicing polygamy. Brigham Young taught that irregardless of the opposition it was their right to exercise their religious freedom. He also taught that it was God who decreed marriage was between one man and "women." Just because this is not practiced today does not mean it didn't happen then, and it was an essential principle they believed in.

If anyone should understand what it is like to be persecuted for being different, Mormons should unless they don't know their own history. The early history of the church was filled with controversy, it was a very volatile time for the saints. So, why did they do it? Because they believed they were following God's Will. But I guess God changed His mind between then and now and decided it wasn't such a good idea for one man to have up to 30 wives or more. But because a marriage wasn't just between one man and one woman, I would say God was more open minded until gays and lesbians decided to exercise their right to be treated equally and fairly.

It's a little difficult to wrap my brain around the fairness of one woman sharing her husband with even one other woman much less 30. But that's not what really bothers me, although I certainly have some issues with it. What bothers me is the fact that so little is being done to fix the problems within the traditional marriage.

I know what I am writing will be very offensive to many, but I do so because families are already in trouble. There is nothing sacred about abuse and it is epidemic. It's not going to take a gay couple getting married to destroy what God has established. Abuse is epidemic in Mormon families just as it is in all walks of life. I can only imagine how much good could have been done with 20 million dollars had that money been spent to rebuild the lives that have been destroyed. It seems that while much is said about the "eternal family" and women especially have an obsession with perfection, too many marriages are less than ideal while straining under the burden of appearing to be just the opposite. It's difficult for most to even ask for help because that's an admission of failure. Yet, how many millions are spent to build extravagant buildings for couples to be sealed in? Money doesn't seem to be a problem if the cause is right, but I guess in order to allocate millions to heal the wounded families would also be an admission of failure. So abuse cases are handled quietly and victims suffer just as silently. If it sounds like I have an issue with this, I do. I am an abuse survivor and I am also involved with active members who are married to abusive men. Resources are just as limited as they were in my day, and in most cases support is almost non-existent it depends largely upon which ward the victim is in.

I have to wonder, why isn't a war waged against the primary cause that is destroying families instead of attacking yet another cause. Temple marriages don't protect members against abusive partners anymore than young girls are safe if they marry returned missionaries. What I mean by that is "don't throw stones when you live in a glass house." Look first to your own "house" and get it in order. Face the problem as if it is important enough to spend millions of dollars to find the cure. And most importantly, pay attention to what is really going on behind closed doors and care enough to act responsibly. Don't give lip service to victims of abuse, do something about it, help rebuild their lives. I think God would really be pleased!

I am not saying that abuse does not exist in gay and lesbian relationships because it does. What I am saying is let's fix what is already broken by understanding its cause. Let's unify in hope and healing rather than spread the evils of contagious fear. I believe that faithful members of the Mormon Church acted on ignorance and blind faith in regards to Prop. 8 to fuel the fear that already exists. I don't know about you but I know God doesn't operate like this. He isn't afraid of gays and lesbians. He isn't afraid of what they will do, He is more aware of what is being done against them. It might surprise some people, but God doesn't operate like we do. Fear is a human weakness and God isn't human. What seems to be missing is the most basic and fundamental element that exists in all things and that is LOVE. Love accepts all things and all people and tolerates every difference we might have. Love is what creates a family and fear is what destroys them. If we would be more concerned about healing our own hearts and raising our children with a different attitude there would be less suffering and less pain.

Mormons, as well as other religious sects have been persecuted because of their beliefs since the beginning of time. The suffering has been tremendous so what have we learned from history? When are we going to stop being so afraid of the differences between us?

Our challenge today is to create a new world and a new way of thinking. Perhaps the greatest challenge for some will be to stop preaching the right way to live and start living it. One of the most enlightening thoughts about love is that all children thrive on it. Regardless of who loves them, if they feel safe, and they know they are loved, they will grow up to be the greatest examples and expressions of love. What more could we hope for?

My hope is that LOVE will soften the hearts of those who live in such great fear that they would allocate millions of dollars to oppose same sex marriages while largely ignoring the severity of problems within their own members enough to realize they already have a breakdown of families. And the fallout are angry children who continue the cycle of abuse.

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